


You can see my heart burning in the distance

by RavenSnowStar94



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Cormoran is so in love but trying to play it cool, Cuddling, Developing Relationship, F/M, Robin has her own flat, Robin is a badass, Robin is so in love, Secret Relationship, Trying to move slowly into the new relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenSnowStar94/pseuds/RavenSnowStar94
Summary: “Stay here.”Her voice sounded foreign to her.It was desperate and pleading, almost hurt with the prospect of him rejecting her.“It’s time for us to stop dancing around our feelings and stare them in the eye, Cormoran.”
Relationships: Ilsa Herbert/Nick Herbert, Robin Ellacott/Cormoran Strike
Comments: 10
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic of one of my favorite couples from books!
> 
> (English is not my native langue so excuse me any mistakes~)

They both run to the inside of the bed & breakfast they found in Oxford, hoping to finally get some warmth, trying to avoid the pouring rain. When they both are shielded from the tempest outside, the clerk of the place tries to put them in the same room, but Robin flushed and corrected the man before Strike could say anything that might make things more awkward.

Robin would gladly go back to London this same day, but the rain was becoming stronger and dangerous, so they both opted to sleep somewhere, and on the next day early, go back to Denmark Street.

“I’m truly sorry, but we only have one room available. Two single beds, will that be alright?”

The man had an apologetic smile.

Strike prompted an answer before Robin could think of something to try to make the situation less awkward.

“Sure.”

He was trying to get rid of his overall but the fact that he had a bag on one of his hands and some take out dinner for them in other, made it quite impossible for him to do that. Robin took the food out of his hands, and the clerk hands them the keys to their room.

They were tired from the last job they just closed, they went to Oxford to meet their client so they could give her the news that her father was actually alive in the other side of England, that due to an accident so many years before they got separated and he had no idea he still had a daughter alive. So in the end, Robin and Strike made a family get back together for a change.

While they walked side by side through the light-colored corridor, Robin noticed how Strike’s walk seemed slower than usual, probably due to their extensive walking around the city during the day. His body couldn’t take much exercise because of the prosthesis

. Of course, he would never admit he needed to rest most of the time. 

Robin’s now short hair was drenched from the rain outside, she needed to dry it off before going to bed.

When they passed through the threshold, seeing the two single beds so close together made something inside her chest tighten. Strike would never say anything to Robin to make her uncomfortable, but the way he changed the weight between his legs made her realize how nervous he was. Something that was oddly satisfying.

“I’m going to put some dry clothes. Just a second and we can eat.” Robin said before quickly bringing her bag inside the little bathroom they would share.

The tiles around her were white, as the rest of the room apparently, contrasting to their usual more comfortable warm atmosphere with the brown tones around their office. And the flat she just rented, single room with a modest living room, had blue walls from the last tenants.

That shade of blue that made Robin remind herself of Strike every time she walked inside her new place in the first week. She was deciding which new color she would paint because it was getting ridiculous how she always freezes noticing the particular color of her walls. Totally different from the room she had lived for months at Ilsa’s and Nick’s house.

Ilsa had come by to help her out and have a girl’s night out drinking wine and watching comical movies. Always dropping hints about Strike’s new single life, which Robin was dying to know more details but sometimes she didn’t know where she stood with Strike.

They were friends, she dared say, best friends, but something changed in the last year. Things had been changing for longer than that but she only fully realized the extent of it when she danced with him on her wedding day.

She couldn't help the snort bubbling from her mouth while drying her hair. Who knew that she found out about where her heart was when marrying another man who had constantly let her down?

It’s been almost four months since her divorce, with the help of Ilsa, and her freedom seemed almost perfect.

New place.

Great job.

Amazing friends and supportive family.

There’s something missing, something that even though near her was out of grasp.

Her hair was finally dry, so she grabbed new pants and a clean shirt out of her bag, changing quickly. Before opening the door, she braced herself to the comfortable company of her partner.

Strike sat on the chair near their window, with a can of beer open while watching the rain hitting the windowpane. His eyes lingered a little more outside before turning towards Robin who was then placing her bag on the bed without his stuff over it.

She sat on the only chair left empty and grabbed one sandwich.

“Mrs. Soler seemed happy.” He simply said.

“Of course, she finally found her dad after thinking he was dead…” Robin started to eat her food, paying attention to the unusual saddened look Strike had. After closing a case he was always so cheerful, and after this one, he should be epically happy. “Something wrong?”

His grip tightened around the can of beer, then he snickered and finally looked at her. Straight in the eyes and with abnormal intensity.

“Used to break off families, guess this one surprised me somehow.”

His voice was calmer, a total contrast of how he was sitting tense and the way his aura seemed to give Robin a vibe of strangeness.

“Oh, hum...yes. But tomorrow we might have time to tail Connor on the way to cheat his wife. So don’t get used to this outcome.” She smiled, trying to make him huff even something familiar to laugh.

When the corners of his mouth twitched she knew she succeeded.

They devoured their food, Strike finishing two cans of beer before going to the bathroom and leaving Robin gathering the packages and throwing on the little garbage next to the front door.

She sat on her bed, noticing the space between their bed was probably fifty centimeters, way less than a meter, and she shuddered. Her mind knew that didn’t mean anything, Strike wouldn’t do anything, he made that clear obvious during other stakeouts. And she never makes any insinuations because she didn’t know if either of them were ready to share feelings.

Robin wasn’t stupid. She knew he had a crush on her at least, after everything they went through and then he danced with her at that time…

The bathroom door opened, revealing his almost two-meter form with his collar opened a little, trying to get a little more comfortable. He went straight to his bed and practically jumped on the mattress, making Robin laugh a little.

“What? These are perfect ones to jump on it…” His crooked smile somehow lessens the awkwardness of the situation.

He then sat with his back to her, she could still notice the fresh mint smell and his usual burned pavement scent, that somehow she didn’t know why she thought of that every time he was near her. Strike was taking off his prosthesis, so Robin made herself look busy while brushing her teeth, giving the time he needed to get himself ready for sleep.

It was long gone the times he was shy about his leg, but every time he was focused on it she thought it was better to leave him so he doesn't need to worry about her reaction. Which is none?

“Goodnight, Cormoran.” She said when they turned off the lights twenty minutes later.

“‘night, Robin.” His voice sounded hoarse, and it was the last thing she remembers before falling in a nightmare she was so used to having.

Hands grabbed her body, the monkey mask was back, whispering something she couldn't understand, and while her crying sounds faded in the nightmare she knew she was screaming in reality. the memory from that night, many years before, had been hunting her again since she moved to her new place. Maybe it was the fact that she was all alone in a new environment, she couldn't know. She hated thinking about that.

With a gasp she woke up after watching the man who tarnished her memories walk away when she played dead, the white roof stared back at her and then Strike’s blue eyes were the only thing on her vision.

He sat on the edge of her bed, almost falling out of it, with the sheets all over his body in a tangled mess. He probably woke up startled and threw himself to the side to see what was wrong with her.

“Robin?” His voice sounded so clear in the silent room that Robin felt enchanted by it.

“Sorry, a nightmare.” She said noticing she was sobbing slightly. “I will-”

His hand held her arm, softly. She liked how sometimes he was a paradox. Hos even with his grumpy face and build of a bear, he could be the sweetest person. How when sometimes looking at her, Strike could make her feel happy with only that.

“Have you been having nightmares lately?” He asked, not once leaving her eyes.

Her words were stuck, so she nodded.

“What do you need?” His words were so earnest that she feared to tell him that it would take time, and only time, for her to be fully rid of those memories invading her sleep.

“Hold me.”

There was a beat of silence.

Both of them seemed to be holding their breaths, and Robin honestly didn’t know how she could have slipped that from her mind to the open. Strike would flinch away, she was sure of that, he wasn’t ready for her feelings or for the fact that if he let her too deep she would never leave his side.

Strike shuffled and suddenly he was closer to her, opening his arms and embracing her small body, resting his jaw above her head. Robin exhaled, relieved to the new sensation of having him so intimately closer to her, having him right under where her hands could touch. One of his hands was on the back of her head, going up and down her hair and making her snuggle even more on his chest.

The few moments they stayed that way, was everything she needed, everything she wanted. When he took a moment to step away, he smiled sadly at her and went back to his bed. Her body went under the cover once again, but now she was watching the way the silhouette of his body moved according to his breathing pattern. The shape of his body in the darkness, contrasting with the moonlight.


	2. Chapter 2

A week went by after that night in Oxford.

They never talked about her nightmares, but she knew Strike sometimes observed her to see if she had slept well. She always knew when his eyes were on her.

Robin was finally unpacking the last two boxes on her new flat, cheering up with the prospect of getting rid of all the boxes completely. She poured herself a glass of her favorite white wine that Strike gifted her as a housewarming present and sat on her beige couch.

Before she went to sleep, she took the last item inside the last box. The green dress from Vashti. The forbidden dress that she never wore after receiving, afraid Matthew would think Strike was flirting with Robin somehow.

The dress was hanging behind her bedroom door when she finally went under the covers, she watched the dress so elegantly draped there and wished she had somewhere to wear it. Maybe tomorrow when she does the dishes, she laughed at her thoughts and dreamed of her winning a medal of honor for saving the queen of England. Wine always making her have delusional dreams.

On the next day, she spent following one of their clients who was being surveilled after his boss found some emails between him and someone from their opposition company. Robin received a text from Strike, saying she could go home when the clock ticks at 5 o’clock, no need of passing by the office.

She had been worried about him for the last two days, apparently, he fell - once again - on the stairs and had a nasty limp, indicating that something was wrong with his prosthesis. She asked if he needed something from the pharmacy when she noticed that but he grunted and mumbled something about having something for the ‘damn leg’. 

Before she could take the bus to her new address, Robin had the sensation that she should talk with Strike. That maybe she could buy some food and they could talk over food like the old times when she was just his secretary and nothing more. Maybe she would ask about his ex-girlfriend, maybe see if they are broken up for good.

His favorite sandwich was on the bag she carried up the stairs of their office on Denmark Street. The clock showed it was almost seven o’clock, hopefully, he would be watching a football game in his apartment above their office.

All her goals were thrown in the garbage when she heard muffled noises coming from the office, the sound of a struggle, she knew them very well at this point. With her hand quickly dialing the direct number of Eric Wardle, she whispered for him to bring help and then left all her things at the door.

The sounds were coming from Strike’s office, she was surprised when someone was thrown to the grounds and hit the closed door of the inner office.

“Cormoran?” She warned, to whoever was with him.

Then the door was open, someone rushing to her with a weapon on their hands. Robin was able to deflect but the person - a woman she then noticed- had her strong hands around her arms. Robin tried to use the techniques she learned in her classes, being able to kick the woman’s tight and fall over the couch they had at the reception.

Her body didn't shut down as it would do in the past, she scrambled away from the attacker’s reach and bolt to Strike’s office. Seeing him on the ground, sitting down and without his prosthesis. The attacker went back to her, pushing Robin forward so she hit her head on the wall, and then grabbing something shining on the ground near where she fell.

The prosthesis on her hand became a weapon, and she smashed the thing on the woman who was now trying to go for Strike, still a little disoriented. She must have caught the woman’s head because suddenly the body hit the ground, not moving but clearly breathing.

Robin went to Strike, his collar was a mess and he had scratches over his neck and some blood on his arm. She trailed her eyes to the bomboniere smashed on the floor next to them. Her hands went to his face, lifting his eyes to her and with her trembling voice, she said.

“Why someone always tried to kill you in your office?” Her voice was nervous still, but she couldn't help to laugh relieved when noticing he was staring at her proudly.

“Why you always use my prosthesis to save me?”

They laughed together, both relieved and a little shaken up.

Eric Wardle barged on the office with three more police officers who quickly went to evaluate the attacker.

“Bloody hell, Strike. More paperwork…” The detective said.

“Mrs. Parton wasn’t all that happy to know her wife was cheating…”

Robin felt a little dizzy, touching her forehead and seeing blood coming back on her fingertips. Strike didn’t look well too.

When they finished giving their statement to Wardle, they both shared a taxi to the nearest hospital. Strike thanking Robin for the sandwich and eating during their drive, ignoring the annoyed look the drive gave the man next to her.

After some hours in the emergency room, Robin was free to go home and Strike with his stitches cleanly done, too.

It was almost midnight when they arrived at the front of her building, Strike sat there waiting for her to get off the taxi so he could go home and rest but she couldn’t let things go back to the way they were always. Robin paid the driver and asked Strike to get off with her, he did as he was told. Something she knows it was out of character for him.

He silently followed her to her elevator, she noticed he sighed with relief for not having to walk up the stairs until the fifth floor.

When looking around her flat, Strike hummed in satisfaction.

“It’s good.” He simply said. “I’m deadbeat tired, Robin. Sleep well, we can talk on Monday.”

His body started to turn around to go back to the front door, but she was faster.

“Sleep here!” She doesn’t know why she practically yelled, hopefully, he wouldn't think the damage on the head was worse than the little concussion she had.

“I don’t think it’s...Robin, I don’t-” he never finished what he was trying to say. An excuse maybe, or even a harsh truth.

Her legs moved without thinking much, her arms throwing themselves around Strike’s shoulders and bringing her face to face with him. His blue eyes grew in alarm but then relaxed when she touched their forehead together.

“Stay here.”

Her voice sounded foreign to her.

It was desperate and pleading, almost hurt with the prospect of him rejecting her.

“It’s time for us to stop dancing around our feelings and stare them in the eye, Cormoran.”

Their faces were so close, closer than she ever was, excluding that accidental kiss in front of the hospital when Jack, Strike’s nephew, was sick. Robin gave a peck on the corner of his lips, imitating the only contact she ever did there before. Waiting for him to say something, anything.

“Robin...I don’t want to lose you.”

His voice was a whisper, a tone she never heard him use before.

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to lose me.” Her smile was sad.

So many people had left him. His father never gave a shit about him, his mother loved him so much but death got the best of her, and Charlotte broke his heart every single day for the decade they were together. That’s the reason he put a distance to everyone, always walking in eggshells to not emotionally dependent on them.

Robin’s thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of Strike’s hands on her back, bringing her closer and then hesitantly pressing their lips together.

At first, it was a tentative peck, prolonged when her hands tangled in his short messy hair. She didn't want to let go yet, so she stopped to get some air and then kissed him deeper. Noticing the way he smiled into the kiss, following her command.

When she put more of her weight on him, almost lifting from the ground, she heard a grunt of pain and she took a step back.

"Sorry, is your leg alright?" Her hands were on his face, holding that round and tired face between her pale and small hands. Searching his eyes for an answer.

"It's a little sore from the fall the other day...hum…"

She smiled noticing his eyes going to her lips.

"We could go to bed."

The look he gave her was almost scandalized, she barked a laugh, grabbing his hands and guiding him to her bedroom.

She stood a little nervous next to him, side-eyeing him the whole time, and then she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

When she went back to the room, she offered some toiletries to him and he disappeared, limping, in the bedroom.

Robin tried to look nonchalant about the situation but placing her palm above her heart only confirmed that her heart danced inside her chest. Maybe she should change to something more comfortable and less dirty, so that's what she did.

When she was done putting on her navy pajamas, Strike appeared again, now with his linen shirt buttoned up all the way.

She walked to him, giving him a peck on the lips and then starting unbuttoning his shirt.

"I don't expect anything. I just want you to be comfortable."

Strike hugged her.

She was caught by surprise with that, her hands caged between their bodies because of how sudden his action was.

He kissed the top of her head, fighting his arms around her.

When he released her, his eyes kept on her as she helped him take out his shirt completely. Helping him to sit on the end of her bed, Robin sat next to him.

"I have to take my prosthesis out." Strike said while looking at her.

She moved before she could think, kneeling in front of him and noticing his eyes panicking. Then her hands went to his left leg and started to fold the hem of his pants up until his knee. 

It wasn't the first time she saw his leg. The prosthesis going up almost until the knee, with the braces around his leg to hold into place and the patch of gel fabric between the skin and metal. Strike guided her on how to take it off, she knew he was hating the process because he couldn't see her eyes or know what she was thinking, but she needed to do this. For him. For her. For the future 'us'.

The prosthesis was left against the wall next to her bed, and when she saw that the skin on what was left of his leg was a little red. Probably bruised.

Strike took off his pants, unceremoniously, and didn't look as nervous as before. His briefs were black, and Robin flushed with the sight in front of her. She stood up to take all in her brain, the image of Strike looking happy, practically naked, and on her bed. His broad shoulders and the presence of hair on his chest made something inside of her warm-up. Her hands went to him, grabbing the back of his neck and giving him a hard kiss.

Her body following her instincts, and she with the utmost care to not hurt him in any way, straddled him. She felt his hesitant touch on the back of her tights and then moving up.

They kissed for so much time, that they got lost in each other. She feared to lose this, to lose Strike for good, that someone was going to appear and take him away again. That she would never get the chance to stay this close to him again, so she kissed him more. More and more until they were both breathless and flushed. Until she couldn't form any coherent words and she reached the pleasurable sensation of feeling infinite.

They were laying side by side, looking at each other as if nothing was more important than them, nothing was dignified of their attention but them.

Robin smiled at him, snuggling closer and feeling his arm drape over her. Her lips placed a soft kiss over the place where his heart was and he chuckled.

"Don't let me go, Robin."

"Never."

They woke up on the next morning with an emotional hangover of a catalytic explosion from their shared kisses.

She talked about her childhood in Yorkshire, growing up with her brothers and loving mother. And he talked about moving from place to place and then his blessed moments with Uncle Ted, on how Lucy battled to be the exact opposite of their mother and how he feared that all he did in his life was for nothing. Then Robin made a joke about 'at least you didn't marry an arsehole' which she received an equally sad statement 'I was engaged to a compulsive liar'. In the end, they laughed about past problems, moving to discuss some of the cases they are still working on.

“We won’t be receiving any payment from the Parton case I guess.” Robin conjectured with a sly smile, touching the bandage on Strike’s forearm to see if the stitches were still intact.

“Yes, but Barclay said he would finish things up with the surveillance case he got of those two kids being followed by someone who wants to kidnap them. He hates the case because he feels like a bodyguard, so he was going to keep working today to try and have closure on who is stalking that family.” Strike leaned back on Robin’s pillows and she continued sitting on the bed near him, observing their newfound closeness. “How’s your head?”

She didn’t have any migraines, but the cut on her forehead stung a little when she moved a little.

“The doctor said a mild concussion, nothing to worry about. And the cut isn’t deep.”

“That doesn't answer my question.” Strike sighed, looking at her with a knowing expression.

“I’m alright, but when I take a shower the cut will sting.” She didn’t know why she felt like a kid when complaining about the pain of a sting but, well, she was happy for the first time in a while so she would act however she wanted.

Strike was unable to comment because Robin’s cell phone started to ring from somewhere in the flat.

She scrambled to stand up from the bed, knowing he was following her with his eyes while she walked out of the bedroom wearing only her pajama shirt.

“Hi, mom.”

_ “Good morning, darling. Are you coming to Martin’s birthday? Remember to arrive on time because the loaf will be timed perfectly and hot...Robin?”  _

“Hum, yes. I’m coming. It’s two weeks away though.”

_ “I know, but I don’t know if you need to clear with Mr. Strike to get out of the city for a few days.” _

“Yes, hum...don't worry, I will go.”

They hung up after that, Robin breathing in and out, thinking about how she would tell her family about her relationship development with Strike. Maybe she could not say anything and just do her own business. Although she knew her mother will notice something, that something changed in Robin, that the cold around her heart was finally melting all away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long but I had some family issues and also writer's block!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

“Do you want to spend the weekend with me?” Robin tentatively asked when they were both wearing normal clothes and sitting on her small table. She had cooked some eggs and bacon, she knew how much Strike adored an English Breakfast.

“I need to go to the office today. Some cleaners are going there to organize the mess Mrs. Parton did.” Before she could say anything more, Strike placed his big hairy hands above hers that were resting on the table. “I can come back afterward, we could go have some dinner together.”

“I would like that.”

They eat in silence, Robin sometimes looking back at the tall man in front of her and not believing that he was there. Strike didn’t linger much after the breakfast, opting to get out fast, she didn’t complain and opened the door for him to be on his way.

She waited on her door frame as he waited for the elevator, quickly glancing at her and smiling a little before walking on the little cubicle. Her heart sank a little, not because he was going away for a while but because she was happy and that scared her. Although she wanted that to happen, to be with him, she never once thought about the complications - she thought but it all seemed so impossible that she took the thoughts as a joke most of the time.

When back inside her flat, she walked to her window and sees Strike’s figure crossing the street and lighting a cigarette as he walked slowly.

What would he be thinking? With his analytical mind, he would be apprehensive about the repercussion in their routines. Maybe he would be afraid of her acting as his girlfriend and not partner during their job, which was not a case he should worry because Robin knew how to divide her personal and professional life really well.

And honestly, she needed a time where she could adjust to this development, even if she was being intense before with him. They were only acting the way they were before her wedding crashed their friendship and put a strain on how she acted around him for at least a year. Now that she was free, Robin could learn a little bit more about these strange emotions regarding her partner.

The rest of the day she spent organizing some of her belongings inside her wardrobe, throwing a look at the beautiful green dress still on the back of her door, and then seeing if everything she owned still fitted her body or if she would donate some of it. She paused a little to see some texts from Ilsa, and then eat a salad and chicken she had on her fridge from the two days before that seemed still good to go, then proceeding to sit on her couch. She watched some old episodes from Doctor Who, not paying full attention afraid of losing track of time even if she didn’t necessarily know the time Strike would be back. 

Around six o’clock she heard her cell phone, already wearing faded blue jeans and a light pink sweater, she saw it was Strike calling. When it was only to tell her he was already in front of her building, she went to the window and saw him standing on her gate. She buzzed him in, checking her reflection one last time on her mirror and then opening her door to welcome him.

"Hello…" She voiced out when he emerged from the elevator. 

He was carrying a gym bag, astute of him to bring that because Robin had no intention of letting him go for the next 24 hours. Not at least until they have to go to work on Monday.

She caught the bag from his reluctant hands and then laced her arms around his waist. Quite shocked with how affectionate she was being, not controlling her urges to touch him. 

"There's this pub two blocks away, the Chain of Gold, it's nice."

"Ok, let me get my things and we can go. I'm quite hungry."

Strike stood on her door, a little embarrassed she could see in the way he was tensed up there. Not even investigating dangerous people he acted that way, she saw him once undercover and he could win a BAFTA with that performance.

"Show me the way."

They walked together on the street, their hands inside each of their pockets and touching their shoulders.

The twilight sky had a strange brightness, some stars could be seen which considering they were in big London, was somewhat unusual.

*****

Strike walked at the same pace as Robin, wanting to be near her. As she was so eager to not leave him away for so long, it was the first time for Strike. The first time he felt like being alone was a horrible prospect. These moments with Robin, even the little one, felt like everything. Better than the feeling of seeing Arsenal winning some championship. Better than the adrenaline of closing a case. Better than so many things…

Robin’s hand went around his arm, leaning a little towards him and continuing their walk.

Her closeness brought the sensation of something quite unforgettable, of something bittersweet.

The first thing he noticed when crossing the threshold of the pub was that the presence of Ilsa and Nick was something he was not counting on. He didn’t pause to think of this new development on Robin and his relationship, but when she also noticed and tensed, he knew she wanted to keep things low.

His friends waved at him and then went to join them.

“Corm!” Nick yelled, surprised.

Nick hugged Corm as if they haven’t seen each other for a long time when in reality it has been three days. But the surprise in his friend’s eyes was to the fact that Strike was alone with Robin in the middle of the weekend and in a pub that is out of Strike’s way. The spark behind Nick’s happy expression was telling and it buggered Strike a little even if he was his most close friend.

“Hello, Robin!” Nick gave her a kiss on the cheek and then guided them to the table he was with Ilsa, thinking that they would join them. Strike looked for Robin’s eyes but she was hugging Ilsa with happiness. Maybe they could eat with them and have a relaxing late-night later at Robin’s flat and leave the romantic dinner that once upon a time Strike would hate, for another day.

“Corm, it’s been some time we don’t go to a pub. You lot were working?” 

Ilsa asked more to Robin, so Strike let Robin choose her own version of what was happening.

“Yes, and we wanted to eat something before going home."

Robin was remarkably ambiguous by saying in that, and on purpose, Strike knew. She was telling the truth without Nick or Ilsa understanding the true meaning. And Strike, always fascinated by her quick thinking, wanted to kiss her right there on the spot. To be fair, Strike had been wanting to kiss her since the day Robin hit the car with Elisabeth Tassel. He had been so scared for her that while his brother went to catch Elisabeth who was running from the smashed car, Strike could only wall faster, almost limping, to the driver's seat. Seeing Robin mumbling words and her eyes wide open made his exhale more than his relief that night. Of course, he would never say that to her, she was still engaged at that time and he would never make a pass on someone he loved so much… fear of screwing things up and be left alone again.

Strike saw that Robin stroke a conversation with Nick who was enthusiastically about paying attention, maybe she was talking about her mother's little surgery and Nick always wanted to know about everyone's health. Unfortunately, Strike noticed too late the knowing eyes of Ilsa at him while he stayed an abnormal amount of time looking at his former friend, now lover. 'Lover' didn't ring good in his brain as a way to describe what Robin was to him but he thought that it was best to start saying something before Ilsa said something that would make him want to go home.

"Ilsa how's planning the vacation?"

She smirked but obliged to his chatting.

"Nick told you already? Well, everything is set and we go next month to Brazil, Nick is dying for this time off and me too, honestly." She gave a sip of her wine before continuing. "You know how stress is not ideal."

Strike knew what she meant. His friends were trying to get pregnant for so many years that Strike didn't know how they still have such hopeful mindsets.

"Don't forget about my travel gift." Strike mocked.

"Oh, Corm, you wish." She snickered and both of them got distracted from the topic when the waiter arrived bringing the table some menus. 

After all of them had chosen what they would eat Strike went to the bathroom, crossing his path with a group of men who were clearly too drunk to hear Strike's apologizing from stumbling in one of them. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw the bags under his green eyes, his strangely dialed down green orbit who he sometimes hated to look at. This day, having spent last night with Robin and meeting his friends...he actually liked existing. Liked the way he seemed to be wanted in the midst of a dinner or wanted by someone so good as Robin.

He got done with peeing and after trying to fix his hair a little he realized it was no use, hair was horrible due to his bad DNA and nothing would work to make it less not dashing. Strike was aware that he was taking too long so he quickly went back to the table, receiving a warm smile from Robin and when they were sitting next to each other, she tumbled her finger over his right as if reassuring she was there and he was there. That they were next to each other because they wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

Robin and Strike walked side by side at Hyde Park, crossing the grassy meadows filled with college people sitting around the grass to study and tan on this unusual sunny day in London.

It was the first time Robin saw Strike wearing only a buttoned shirt, no sight of the heavy coat he usually wears. His short hair had a coat of sweat dripping from his forehead, and he seemed tired. More than normal days.

Robin had the urge to hold his hand, but they weren't a couple that went strong in PDA, and judging from the sweaty state he was, he wouldn't welcome her clammy palms with his.

Most of the cases they were overseeing were paused during that particular weekend due to the good weather, people are eager to get out of town to their private homes. Barclay hated that one of the cases he was taking care of was actually staying back so he needed to follow the man all day and not relax or have a day off.

It has been one week since their first weekend together, and although Robin still felt nervous on how to act with him some of the time, she was always impressed by Strike's ability to make her forget her worries about them.

Strike caught her hand after they passed next to Diana's Memorial, proving how he acted sometimes as if he read her mind and knew how to make her relax. How to make her not question his intentions with her.

Both of them were sweaty but none of them wanted to let go of their joined hands.

"So how's Barclay tailing the Smoker?" Robin asks knowing that Strike has a meeting with Barclay about his case. "Is he stealing?"

They were sitting in a kebab restaurant, Strike said he craved one and Robin knew this place she always wanted to taste so they got ready after waking up and went to this place. It had colorful walls inside but they chose to sit on the tables outside, making a nervous-looking waiter to approach when they put down their menus.

"Barclay said that the extra time the Smoker spends on his office is not actually alone. One of the associates also is always there. He is trying to get a glimpse of what they are doing inside, probably stealing judging from the duffel bags Barclay saw Smoker carrying every time they meet but…"

"But what?" Said Robin curious, putting her cell phone back on her purse after checking if she got any calls from her family.

Strike sat across from her and she liked being so close to just observe him.

"Barclay showed me the pictures and well, they are obviously lovers. The associate and Smoker, I mean." Strike got that arched eyebrows indicating he would explain his train of thought. "There were many pictures of both of them exiting the building side by side and always with a conspiracy smile, but not from 'oh I did something bad' but more of a look of 'you and I now share a good secret'...and the fact that is always one of them carrying a bag to the car and not ever both of them at the same time...I think it depends on who is sleeping where. But I think Barclay will come to that conclusion soon or he will prove me wrong."

Strike caught a cigarette and lit up, Robin didn't like the taste of it in his mouth when they kissed but she knew his cigarettes were something therapeutic to him, and maybe later on in their relationship, she would maybe try to find a better way to cope with...things.

Strike paused with his cigarette almost touching his lips, he threw a look at Robin and smiled nervously. Putting down the cigar and smiling to Robin with conviction.

"As I was saying, Barclay will get to the right conclusion."

"But why would Smoker hide his relationship with the associate? Smoker is not married or even has anyone…"

"Maybe they aren't out or the associate is the one in a relationship. But seeing as they both sleep at each other's house...I think they aren't ready to be out in the open yet."

Their food arrived and Robin still mulled over the fact that Strike was trying to avoid smoking around her. She never minded if they were in open and she never voiced out her disliking of the taste.

"But who would be stealing information from the office's clients then? Mrs. Janice was so sure it was Smoker...maybe it's the associate?" Robin pondered without meaning to delve into it too much but not helping herself.

"Martin called me to invite me to his party but I wasn't sure if...it was something you would like. I don't want to mix things if you aren't alright with it." Strike said between bites and Robin put down her fork and knife.

"I don't mind, and if he invited you...you should go. My brother is annoying but he somehow gets on well with you, he respects you."

"Your brother is so strange." Strike said with a tense expression.

"Yes, he is." She laughed. "Should I tell them about us or...you think it's stupid?"

"It's your family. Do what you want, Robin. I'm with you, and that's it."

Robin felt as if she needed to tell at least her mother, she didn't want Linda Ellacott to find out in any other way. She knows her family likes Strike, but somehow she wasn't sure how they would react to her being with him.

After all the drama that Matthew had made in the past, accusing her of having an affair with Strike or even ditching everything for this one-legged man, she knew her family didn't want more drama. And her family even cut ties with Matthew's after the divorce, not wanting to put Robin in any situation where they had to meet again. 

"Go as my boyfriend, then."

It felt strange saying 'boyfriend', but it was all she had. 

"Alright." Strike said having some sort of fun with what she said.

Their kebabs finished, Robin and Strike were once again walking through the streets of South Kensington when it hit Robin that this was the domesticity that she never thought Strike had, something she never imagined him being able to do. Yes, he had a grumpy expression most of the time but that didn't mean he was unhappy.

Robin remembers thinking about how Strike's life was when he was with Charlotte, her thoughts dissipating once she realized she shouldn't be comparing him to when he was in that toxic relationship.

His sweaty hands found hers once again, Robin smiling with the happy thoughts that everything would be alright.

*

During the next week, Robin got busier than ever because they accepted a new client that they thought she could divide with Cynthia, but on Wednesday the only other woman in their office caught the flu and had to stay at home. That's why it was Tuesday and she was parked in her Land Rover at the street corner of the spa the new client entered, apparently it was common to schedule a 11 pm massage…

Robin was on her second bag of chips when someone knocked on her passenger seat. Surprisingly, it was Strike.

"I thought you would be waiting for me at my place." She said trying to hide the excitement of having him with her during a stakeout slash tailing. 

He positioned himself better and then turned his face to her.

"I was bored so I decided to join you." He looked towards the spa. "Mrs. Calloway is there?"

"With a very young man, the ladies of the front desk even went home already. She is obviously cheating but-"

"But what?"

"She smiled entering the place, I've been following her the whole day and it was the only time she did that." Robin closed her bag of chips, sighing. "I don't know. It just made me sad."

"If it's any consolation...Mr.Calloway doesn't want to divorce or fight, he just wants to know, I guess some people don’t mind and just want to...know." Strike avoided looking at her, and she knew that he must have a reason for that because since they started dating Robin noticed that his eyes were always lingering to her when he thought she wasn't paying attention.

Deciding to move on from the subject of cheating spouses, Robin turned her body to him too and caught his right hand.

"How was your day?"

"I had a talk with Shanker. He called last night and asked for some insight." Strike grunted. "All legal."

"Shocking," Robin said laughing, which made Strike show his teeth in an awkward smile. "Excited for the weekend?"

"If this is your way of being smooth, Robin. You failed." Strike leaned over and kissed her soundly, prolonging the touch of their mouths longer than usual when they were in the open. "I reserved a ticket on the same train as yours. I'm going."

Robin smiled still close enough to feel his breath.

"Good, because I'm really happy that you're going."

They stayed the rest of the time talking about work and when Strike was almost dozing Mrs.Calloway exited the spa building with a man lacing her arms. Robin took some pictures and when she followed their car, it was to see parking outside a simple three stories building where the man probably lived. The couple walked together, Mrs.Calloway welcoming the hungry kisses the man gave on her neck, Robin felt bad watching this scene so intimate but it was her job until they entered the building and disappeared inside.

She drove slowly through the streets of London, humming an old tune from her childhood that somehow stuck to her head ever since she mentioned the weekend to Strike. Then she stopped when her car turned off a few meters away from her building. She heard Strike mumbling and then he was jumping off the car, walking side by side with her like usual and winking at her when they crammed in the elevator.

Robin noticed he had come by before going to meet her, his bag with a change of clothes was dropped on the couch as if he had been in a hurry and she also noticed the St.Mary's Hospital paper next to it but decided to bring up later, Strike was already closing the bathroom door behind him.

Robin knew she should be taking slow steps on this new development between them, but she was so eager to finally begin with Strike that she couldn't help it to be curious about everything.

She changed to her oversized shirt she used to sleep in and shorts too loose to even stay on her hips, but comfortable, something that was essential to her today.

When Strike got out of the bathroom he smelled like mint and was already wearing his army shirt and pants, he would take his prosthetics when sitting on the bed like he usually did. Robin went to the bathroom, seeing that Strike and his strange habit from the army, had tidy up her small toilet.

Robin snuggled on Strike's body, feeling his arm go around her waist to keep her to him. She traced unknown patterns on his hairy chest, liking the warm of his touch and glad that he wasn't being cautious when dealing with her.

"Thank you, Cormoran." Robin said, not sure if he had heard her silent words.

"For what?" His grouchy voice indicating he was almost deep asleep cut the quietness of the room. 

She didn't answer him. 

She wasn't sure for what, exactly.

But she knew it was what made her be happy in that present.

The nightmares didn't hunt her during the night since she got together with Strike, but when they tried to come out she didn't feel afraid. She decided after much thinking that she shouldn't fear the memories of her attack, she should let them come to her and get tired of messing with her head, because she was tired of the pain they always brought.

She placed a kiss on Strike's shoulder when she woke up the next morning, it was still early to wake him up. They had to get to work at 9am and then the train they would catch was set to 1pm, so looking at the clock and seeing it showed 6:47 made her happily go under the covers.

"Hum?" Strike mumbled, waking up.

"It's early, go back to sleep." Robin said already half asleep.

Robin was surprised and fully awake when Strike suddenly started to kiss her neck, making her giggle a little and move her neck to the other side, giving him more access to her skin. Then she proceeded to feel only him, only his hands around her body, caressing her back under the shirt and passing through her shorts waistband. His lips were on hers, each time that he stopped to breathe saying her name over and over again as a plea, as a prayer.

Her nails digging deeper on the flesh of his shoulders, him noticing how she was becoming more and more desperate, decided to slow things a little just to savour the moment, she guessed.

When they were both sweaty, more than usual on Strike's case, she sat on the bed. His half open eyes and lazy smile, made her pinch him a little. 

Robin had a pretty good sex life with her ex husband, but what she had with Strike had no comparison. Something in the way he always held eye contact while making her undone, his voice when saying her name and how Robin felt happy with him...all of it happens at the same time and she could cry just thinking about her luck in finding someone like him. Someone that hid his heart, but that had way too much love to give.


	5. Chapter 5

They were almost at the Masham station still when Robin held Strike's hand tighter than usual, waking him up from a quick nap. 

Her strawberry blonde hair was pushed back in a loose ponytail, and the white blouse she wore made her skin paler, but Strike wasn't complaining, he would never complain about Robin.

She was his safe place. Even if he begudirely didn't want to admit it even to himself.

He knew that him going to her parent's home as her significant other might be stressful to her and maybe shocking to them because Strike knew he wasn't anyone's choice to be dating their daughter. But he was old enough and wise enough to not get in the way of a woman when she wanted something, and Robin for some reason wanted him as much as he wanted her back.

Her expression softened a little when they finally arrived. They grabbed their bags and walked slowly towards the platform, noticing they were the only people getting out of the train.

"My dad should be- Dad!" Robin went towards the old man holding a newspaper and Strike followed her silently. She hugged her dad and then turned to him with expectan eyes. "Dad, you remember Cormoran?"

Michael Ellacott suppressed a knowing smile that Strike knew from experience that they were made already.

"Hello, Cormoran. Martin told me you would come." They exchange hand skates and then without letting Strike say anything he turned to his daughter. "C'mon, your mother will be livid if we get there late...the food is almost ready to serve."

The three of them reached a Jeep parked right next to the entrance of the little train station of Masham.

The drive was fairly smooth, Michael asked some questions about their work which was something of an okay topic to talk about at any time in Strike's opinion. And seeing Robin so excited, showing to her father how eager she is by doing what she loves, made Strike's whole mood change for the better.

He had never come to the Ellicott house, and being there as Robin's boyfriend gave him an uneasy feeling at the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sure exactly what were Robin's words to her mother when she told them, if she told them. But judging from the fact that Robin said he would stay with her at the house, she must have said something to them.

"Do you ever feel tired of the big city, Cormoran?" Michael suddenly said when they were carrying the bags inside the house. Making Strike pay attention to the man and not the house made of stones.

"I miss St. Mawes most of the time. Had a blast there when growing up."

"Didn't know your family was from Cornwell! Great place, outstanding beer."

That comment made Strike smile, emerging at the back of his mind some of his fondness memories from the taste of Cornwall and how he should call his Aunt Joan soon.

"Linda! We are here!" Michael yelled, making a huge dog come blaring towards them, then circling and going to Robin all happy. 

Then he heard the unmistakable voice of Linda Ellacott. She appeared wearing a beige dress that went until her calves and bearing a welcoming smile.

"I heard the car, Michael...oh, Robin! It's been so long…" She hugged Robin with all the love Strike could imagine a mother would show their kids. "I'm glad you two got here on time. Nice to see you again, Mr. Cormoran."

Linda came towards him and gave him a quick hug, which surprised Robin too because she looked shocked.

"You two go freshen up, Martin is here somewhere so he will set the table."

They could hear Linda yelling Martin's name all through climbing the stairs to the second floor. Strike took his time, and did with utmost perfection. The last thing he needed was to fall on the stairs while meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.

Shanker laughed at Strike's way of saying the word 'girlfriend' the other day, it felt foreign for him and somehow not quite how he would describe what he and Robin were. But it was close.

"Robin, did you tell your parents?"

"Oh, only my mom. But she must have told dad."

They entered Robin's room, it was clean and had some band posters glued to the walls. Not many, but enough to show that Robin had a typical and healthy life crushing on idols. He sat on her bed, taking all of the room with his eyes, watching as she opened her wardrobe and rearranged some piece of clothes there. Turning to him with blushing cheeks. 

"Do you want to hang some of your clothes? I've made some space…"

He got up, and put the shirt he wanted to use tomorrow during the lunch party there and also his nicest pants to not mess them up by staying so long inside his bag.

"Your room is very...you."

"My mom didn't change much stuff since I moved out...at least she cleaned."

With her attempt to make a joke he rolled his eyes and she hugged him. They stayed hugging for a moment, him smelling the scent of her neck while she gave him quick kisses on the side of his face. She giggled and then they separated to go and wash up before dinner.

*****

  
  


After a brief tour of the house she grew up in, Robin helped her mother with the meatloaf and Martin arrived freshly out of the shower. His hair all wet and hugging Robin with his overwhelming excitement. Strike gave Martin a small nod and tried to hide the beginning of a smile when Martin also hugged him. Apparently her brother was super happy on reaching his glorious twenty two years old, even though her parents were still pestering him about his future and all that jazz.

“Glad you came, Strike! 

“Sure, Martin. Happy Birthday.”

“Robs probably pissed that you know my birthday but you forgot hers twice.” Martin laughed, thinking he made a joke but obviously not noticing the almost panicked look Strike threw at Robin. She simply rolled her eyes at her brother and tried to give Strike a reassuring look that everything is alright and she didn’t hold against him these events.

They all sat quietly at the table, waiting for Linda to make a speech or for Martin to just get on with something emotional. But it was her shy father that made a toast, brief and sweet, as he always was. Her father had the ability of speaking a lot with few words, a gift she always admired in him. Her brother seemed surprised, and was very satisfied with the squeeze their father gave him after the toast.

“So...You and Strike, huh?” Martin said when they were both putting the dishes inside the dishwasher. She almost slipped a cup to the floor being caught by surprise, Ronin hoped her brother would let go and leave her be.

“Yes.” She said not meeting his eyes, she wasn’t sure why.

“You know I like the man...and I knew there was something.”

“I didn’t cheat on Matthew.” Her voice sounded desperate, she didn’t want people assuming that. “We were best mates and now we are dating.”

“Chill, Robs. I don’t care and especially after seeing how more...free you seem with the soldier.” Martin winked at her, making her smile a little. “Can I play the protective brother role with him?”

“Don’t annoy him, I want him to enjoy himself...I’m nervous.”

She pushed the washing machine door close and turned to her brother seriously.

“I want to have a relaxing Christmas with my family and my boyfriend, so don't, Martin?”

“Damn, alright, Robs. I was kidding.”

He went back to the living room, and she could hear him saying loudly at Cormorant.

“No funny business tonight, Strike, you’re under the in-laws roof.” And she heard heavy footsteps running up the stairs. 

That little bugger would pay for that later.

Robin went to the living room and found Strike sitting at the couch with her dog next to his leg, sleeping peacefully as Strike’s big hand scratched his ears. She could use some comfort like that, so she snuggled to Strike’s side and rested her head on his shoulder. Their breathing matching pace, and only the low volume of the Tv in the room to fill the air, she could hear her mother talking softly to her father in their bedroom right over the living room and then she smiled. 

“This is nice.”

“The food was great and I know you want to hit your brother but don’t you worry.”

“Urgh, I asked him not to say something stupid like that.”

“Heard worse, and it was fun to see him running scared to his, what I infer is, his room.” Strike huffed a laugh, and she caught the hand that was resting over his belly.

"I'm really happy you came."

He smiled shily, a little bit uncomfortable. He wasn't great with words most of the time and Robin didn't mind, she knew what he was thinking on the occasion speechless Strike.

After a while, Robin and Strike moved to her bedroom. They laughed when Strike sat on the bed making a sound as if they were jumping on the bed, Robin after finishing getting ready joined him and giggled when the bed pounced with her weight.

Because of Strike's tall and large frame they had to snuggle up and Robin rested her head on his chest, with her body almost covering his. The cold around them made the proximity between their bodies comfortable.


End file.
